Security versus Opportunity

In my experience, most women (certainly not all, but most) are security oriented. Research from big-brained scientists at leading universities, think tanks, and marketing institutes confirm this. They value stability and safety more than obscene amounts of wealth.

Men, of course, are just the opposite. We value obscene anything. We are opportunity oriented. Any opportunity to get to the top- of our sport, of our work, in our love lives- gives us a chance to be the alpha male. Snort, snort.

There are probably good evolutionary reasons for this difference between men and women, though it's hard to know if it is nature or nurture that make us different. It doesn't matter, really. My point here is that being security oriented means that you will be a better risk manager, but you may leave a lot of money on the table. Being opportunity oriented means you will squeeze out the last dollar from every venture, but there is a real risk of hanging on too long and losing everything (as I did in 2008, when I watched our 401k retirement drop 50% before I switched to bonds. Doh!).

There is a time and place for both strategies, but for some reason, women mainly latch on to one, and rarely explore the other. Men are more likely to do both, in my experience. It's good for girls to learn to take chances and explore opportunities in life. Travel, dating, and entrepreneurship are examples of exploring.

Later in the book, I say "Don't predict; measure." By that, I mean try lots of different opportunities, but without risking your whole future. In so doing, you'll see what works and what doesn't, and you'll make the most of promising opportunities.

Nine out of Ten

Someone once said, "The answer to nine out of ten of life's questions is 'money'." It's hard to dispute.

Money is not the answer to everything, but it answers a lot. Having enough money lets you do what you want to do rather than just what you must do to stay alive. The more money you have, the further up Maslow's pyramid you can climb.

Sidebar

Wait. Actually, you don't need money. If you live like a monk, without any attachment to external things or people, and willing to drift from place to place, like Kwai Chang Cain on the TV show Kung Fu (look it up), then you can get by without it. Trust me, though, by age 29, you'll be very tired of this lifestyle. I did it for a couple of years in England, and it was (a) exciting, (b) fun, (c) trying, then finally (d) frustrating. When I finished my year of study in Leeds, I stayed there to pursue my dream of becoming a superstar musician. I had met a major label producer who liked my songs, and wanted to record me, for free, and helped hook me up with a major festival gig. I found other musicians who really liked my music, and off we went.

Except in the meantime, I had to pay the rent. For four months, I slept on the bass player's couch. I worked day labor jobs, the only work I could get without a work permit. Mind you, I had two master's degrees, and was working construction, demolition, janitorial, or whatever unskilled, cash-paying jobs I could get under the radar. I finally could afford my own place, but it was very, very hard work, especially since I was fast approaching 30, and my body took longer to recover than it did at 18. This went on for two years or so.

When I could not take it anymore, I took a chance doing office temp work, eventually leading to starting my own consulting business in the UK. Life was much better after that! Being a starving artist, or starving anything, sounds much more romantic than it is. I don't recommend it. At least not for long.

Debt Balls

Okay, so if you participate in our Western materialistic society to any degree at all, you are going to need money. The occidental route to monk-like existence comes from Ben Franklin: don't pay too much for your whistle. Don't get bound up in debt, unless it's something you really, really want (like a house). Understand the impacts that it will have on your life and mobility. In short, understand that debt itself is an iron ball and chain that you drag around with you. The more you have, the less you can run.

Some liberal youngsters view money as evil. It's not. It's freedom. Do not value it over your relationships with others, or your own morals, but give it the proper respect. Mastering money early in life, when it's easiest, opens the door to all your childhood dreams.

Career Intertia

Every minute you spend working at something that you do NOT want to do for the rest of your life, something that does NOT inspire you, something that is NOT your life's purpose makes it harder for you to pull away and do that, once you discover it. Why? Simple economics. First, you're getting a paycheck. Second, if you spend 10 years working for a corporation, then you are developing deep expertise at that particular job. Third, the opportunity costs of that job are all the other things you could have been learning during that time (working 40 hours a week leaves little time for learning other things). I call this "career inertia". A body at rest stays at rest, unless acted upon by an outside force (like the company laying you off).

Eventually you'll get bored and frustrated, and will look for something else to do. You'll start by examining your skill sets, you'll find that, by far, you're overwhelmingly qualified to do what you're doing right now, and nothing else. You will probably have started putting down roots, accumulating friends, perhaps a family, schools, lifestyle, and stuff, like car payments, rent, and mrotgages. And if you're like most Americans, you haven't saved much (or any) money. This makes changing jobs harder, because now you'll need immediate income when you quit.

So, by doing something you don't love, you are sacrificing the ability to become expert at what you do love. It's easier to avoid this in your early years (18-30) than in your later years. To avoid career interia:

1. Avoid debt as much as possible, and live beneath your means.
2. Work all the time at achieving your ultimate goals. Even a little work is okay. Push that acorn up the hill.
3. Be prepared to go where your goals take you, even if you leave behind some friends. It's easier than ever to stay connected.

CONCLUSION: Keep narrowing your "career cone" by moving towards your goal, even a little bit, all the time. Don't get stuck in jobs you hate.